Male Submission and Female Domination

Male submission and female domination naturally go hand in hand, but I think the focus for each involved man is different. By focus I mean the fundamental reason for the attraction.

For some it’s the need to submit, the want to be a slave to another person. Submission for these people is more like the natural place they feel comfortable in, with the dominant female being the person they feel most comfortable being directed by. It’s not just a sexual thing, the instinct for male submission is seen in their overall behavior throughout their lives – they seek strong individuals to follow and serve.

For the man who is seriously into being a male slave, it’s the need to be a slave that’s the real focus. These men are attracted to dominant women because they are the natural compliment to what a male slave is. The fulfillment of their need to serve and be controlled is found through female domination.

For other men, the attraction isn’t foremost to male slavery, but to dominant women. These people often don’t see themselves as slaves, and aren’t driven by that same need to serve, but they are attracted to bold, dominant women, and so aspects of their sexuality manifest in ways fitting this. Male submission of a form, but driven by excitement over what the dominant woman is, rather than any instinct within themselves that they feel the need to fulfill. Attraction to female domination in this other case is focused on the sexual.

I don’t think people can be clearly labeled by these two categories, but I do think these present a general difference when it comes to male submission, perhaps in the extremes. These are two primary groupings, reflecting motivation. The one being the male who is drawn to submission and slavery, while the other being the male who is sexually attracted to dominant women and what he gets from them.

There is an obvious overlap there. A heterosexual male who is drawn to submission would logically be attracted to dominant women. Likewise, the man who is attracted to dominant women, is probably accepting of female domination and willing to take a more submissive role sexually. But there is a difference between the primary need to submit, and the pure sexual attraction to bold, strong women.

I think the man who is seriously into being a male slave, looks to dominant women to fulfill his needs. But since that need is to submit and obey, fulfillment comes through fulfilling the commands of the female who controls him. Thus the submission isn’t contradictory – their needs may in a sense be  fulfilled by dominant women, but those women aren’t “serving” them. His obedience comes from the need to be obedient, with the woman compelling this natural submission, and directing his nature as she sees fit. There is a give and take here, but it’s more like two pieces fitting together and naturally falling into proper routine. The male slave’s first impulse is to give.

While in the other extreme, that of the man whose attraction to dominant women is more sexual, he isn’t obeying the woman out of the same sort of instinct. His is driven by sexual desire, with his focus being on what he wants even as he may do as the female commands. However much she may “boss” him, he is really “taking” what he wants from her. He may do as she says, but its because he is enjoying doing it. Even though domination and submission is occurring, the submission of the male isn’t as absolute, and isn’t really done out of the need to submit, but rather then want to receive the domination for sexual satisfaction.

In BDSM settings this often results in a contradiction of terms. Often the mindset of this type of submissive is that the “dominant” is there to see to the needs of her “slave”. The roles fit the labels –  the woman takes the dominant role in the scene. But the reality somewhat reverse – however dominant she appears in action, the “male slave” defines the fantasy, its limits and expectations. Sexual domination, but that is all.

- Tomas, a sometimes male slave

~ by sometimesmaleslave on December 11, 2008.

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